HOW TO DESTRESS YOUR DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR, PART II

Hello there.  The other day I gotta not so nice email, well I shouldn't say not so nice, I should say an email from someone who disagreed with me about my last post.  Someone who was really defending their despair and that is okay because that is what people do.

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It is totally normal to defend your despair and totally normal to grieve and feel horrible but, when you want to feel better, and when you want to lighten the load on yourself you can tell another story, that is all I am saying.

 

No thoughts are neutral.  Your thoughts either help you or hurt you. 

 

So, if you are saying things like, "I can't, I won't, I couldn't, I shouldn't, I could never, or I wouldn't."  Then, you may be hurting yourself.  Actually, scratch the 'may be' because you are hurting yourself.

 

If you are saying things like, "I can, I will, I believe, I have hope, I can handle it, or this is a lesson learned."  Then, you are helping yourself.

 

When people are angry, anxious, or depressed, they often think that they were not having thoughts that make them angry, anxious, or depressed because that is how unaware of our thoughts we really are. 

 

I know this is true because after I speak to someone, and we explore the mood of the mind, while anger, anxiety, or depression is being experienced we discover what is really going on in their life.  The conclusion always points to thoughts creating feelings.

 

An example of this is anxiety attacks.  When someone has an anxiety attack, and I am speaking to them, calming them down, they often believe that they are not having an anxiety attack.  They will say, "But I am not anxious about anything."  After a little exploration, we always discover their doubt, fear, and worry.

 

The reason I talk about meditation and quieting the mind is because we can relax and be more in tune with our thoughts.  When we quiet our mind, we can really be aware of what we are thinking.

 

When we right down what we want, like I talked about last post, we can remind ourselves what we should be thinking, or focusing on rather.

 

So, your story, is it hurting you or helping you?  That is the question.

 

The email I got talked about the horrible things this person is experiencing and I know that there is help in the story that we tell.

 

You know?!?  We all have horrible things that happen to us and it all depends how we handle what is given to us.  I have heard the famous story of, "Oh, you don't know what I have been through, and others haven't been through as much as I have."  Well, maybe, maybe not.  Or, maybe people just tell a different story of what they have been through. 

 

This is not a competition, it is creativity on how to change your thoughts, or your story, so that you can change your despair to comfort. 

 

Many people tell the story of, "There is a purpose for everything,"  and I don't really know about that but I do know, "There is a lesson in EVERYTHING we experience."

 

Any who, I got another email telling me that writing something down on a card, an idea from my last post, won't help, and I say, try it and then tell me if it doesn't help.  Try it for at least 30 days and if you are brave enough 90 days, or even a year.

 

That's all the rambling of my mouth that I got ;)

 

Love you guys ;)

 

Have the best day ever, and don't forget...

 

Have fun!!!

 

Be playful ;)

 

Elizabeth

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

 

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

 

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

 

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

 

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

 

:D

HOW TO DESTRESS YOUR DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR

Hey there!!!

This weekend was incredible!  How did you do?  Did you enjoy it?  I really hope that you did, and I really hope, with all my heart, that you are enjoying your weekends, your weeks, and every moment that you are living.

It is beyond my belief, sometimes, the deepest darkest moments of despair that we go through as humans. 

In my earlier years, as an EMT, I witnessed Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Sons, Daughters, Friends, Lovers, Spouses, and Significant others screaming in desperation over traumatic deaths or destruction for their loved ones.

As I speak with people in crisis and help defuse despair, I see and hear Paramedics, Firefighters, Police Officers, Captains, Sergeants, Dispatchers, Military Personnel, and EMT's struggle with moving from catastrophe to calm.

When we are in crisis, or in a place that is critical, there is a story that we tell.  The story may be, "This is the worst thing that ever happened to me."  Or, "There is no way I can handle this."  Or we ask questions like, "Why me?"  Or, "How am I going to handle this?"

This is a very normal way of looking at the things we go through that are not so easy to handle.

There is another story though.  The nother story is this...

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The nother story is bringing ourselves to look at the bigger picture and minimizing our current situation.

To some people this will sound very cruel because they are very good at defending their despair and the horrible thing that has happened to them.

The bigger picture is that we are here, on this earth, for a purpose.  We are all here for some grander purpose, and all though I don't really know exactly what it is I do know that we all must go through hard times.  We must go through desperation and despair so that we can learn from what we go through.

is some sort of school that we are in so that we can get better and better as we get older.  Better and better at our stress, better and better at overcoming our trials, and better and better at enjoying life.

Loosing a Father, Mother, Son, or Daughter is not new.  It has been happening for years and years, since the beginning of time.  Loosing our job or home is not new nor has it only happened to you because it happens to millions.  Some people don't even have homes.

The story here is, this is life.  Life is as easy as you think it is or as hard as you think it is.

You can think that you can handle it or you can think that you can't.

What story are you telling???

Are you defending your despair?  Are you wallowing in your misery and just wondering why life is so cruel to you? 

Or

Are you creating faith in yourself, encouraging yourself, and looking for a better way?  Are you telling the story that this is some phase in your life that you are going through, or have to go through, and that you will be fine because you have been through more difficult things than this?

What story are you telling yourself? 

Please forgive me if I seem insensitive, that is not my intention, my goal is to provoke you to tell a better story.  If, and when, we tell ourselves a better story, we can move from depression to happiness, from anxiety to calm, from worry to confidence, or from despair to peacefulness.

How do we tell ourselves a better story?

Write down what you want.  Get a little card, maybe a 3X5 card, and just list the things you want. 

Do you want to feel love?  Then write, I AM LOVE.

Do you want to feel success?  Then write, I AM SUCCESS.

Do you want to feel happiness?  Then write, I AM HAPPINESS.

Do you want to feel calm?  The write, I AM CALM.

If you do this, you are creating reminders of what you want. 

This sounds so simple and maybe too easy but try it and I promise you can change your story immediately.

The goal is to find out what you want and move towards it!  And believe it or not, we have to know what we want first, then we have to remind ourselves to think it, and then we can begin our new story.

Please, begin to destress yourself by taking this first step at creating and telling the story that you want.

YOU GOT THE POWER!

That's all I got...

Check out my post, DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR PART II ;)

Have the best week ever, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

BIG HUGS!!!

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D