HOW TO DESTRESS YOUR DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR, PART II

Hello there.  The other day I gotta not so nice email, well I shouldn't say not so nice, I should say an email from someone who disagreed with me about my last post.  Someone who was really defending their despair and that is okay because that is what people do.

CLICK THE PIC ;) LEARN TO MEDITATE

It is totally normal to defend your despair and totally normal to grieve and feel horrible but, when you want to feel better, and when you want to lighten the load on yourself you can tell another story, that is all I am saying.

 

No thoughts are neutral.  Your thoughts either help you or hurt you. 

 

So, if you are saying things like, "I can't, I won't, I couldn't, I shouldn't, I could never, or I wouldn't."  Then, you may be hurting yourself.  Actually, scratch the 'may be' because you are hurting yourself.

 

If you are saying things like, "I can, I will, I believe, I have hope, I can handle it, or this is a lesson learned."  Then, you are helping yourself.

 

When people are angry, anxious, or depressed, they often think that they were not having thoughts that make them angry, anxious, or depressed because that is how unaware of our thoughts we really are. 

 

I know this is true because after I speak to someone, and we explore the mood of the mind, while anger, anxiety, or depression is being experienced we discover what is really going on in their life.  The conclusion always points to thoughts creating feelings.

 

An example of this is anxiety attacks.  When someone has an anxiety attack, and I am speaking to them, calming them down, they often believe that they are not having an anxiety attack.  They will say, "But I am not anxious about anything."  After a little exploration, we always discover their doubt, fear, and worry.

 

The reason I talk about meditation and quieting the mind is because we can relax and be more in tune with our thoughts.  When we quiet our mind, we can really be aware of what we are thinking.

 

When we right down what we want, like I talked about last post, we can remind ourselves what we should be thinking, or focusing on rather.

 

So, your story, is it hurting you or helping you?  That is the question.

 

The email I got talked about the horrible things this person is experiencing and I know that there is help in the story that we tell.

 

You know?!?  We all have horrible things that happen to us and it all depends how we handle what is given to us.  I have heard the famous story of, "Oh, you don't know what I have been through, and others haven't been through as much as I have."  Well, maybe, maybe not.  Or, maybe people just tell a different story of what they have been through. 

 

This is not a competition, it is creativity on how to change your thoughts, or your story, so that you can change your despair to comfort. 

 

Many people tell the story of, "There is a purpose for everything,"  and I don't really know about that but I do know, "There is a lesson in EVERYTHING we experience."

 

Any who, I got another email telling me that writing something down on a card, an idea from my last post, won't help, and I say, try it and then tell me if it doesn't help.  Try it for at least 30 days and if you are brave enough 90 days, or even a year.

 

That's all the rambling of my mouth that I got ;)

 

Love you guys ;)

 

Have the best day ever, and don't forget...

 

Have fun!!!

 

Be playful ;)

 

Elizabeth

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

 

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

 

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

 

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

 

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

 

:D

I WORK FOR FREE!!!

Hello my friend.  How's your week?  Good?  Great?  or Perfect?  Mine is perrrrfect!!!

 

Okay, okay, okay, okay...

 

So, recently, within the last month, I have received a few emails (well maybe more than a few) indicating that my blog posts are sales posts and I just wanted to say a thing or two about that.

 

With kindness and politeness in my reaction I would just like to say that I WORK FOR FREE!  Heh heh.

 

Yes, I have been posting things that you can buy and I only post them because I know that they will help people destress yourself.  When someone buys, I do obtain a minimal fee, because I am an affiliate, and when I sell my products, the web site that hosts them gets an affiliate fee.  What I am saying is that I do make money off these resources but I wouldn't share them unless I know, with all my heart, that they will help. 

 

I KNOW WITH ALL MY HEART THAT THEY HELP!!!

 

Okay, okay, okay, okay...back to the I WORK FOR FREE!

 

Many people email me, from all over the WORLD, and even call me, with their stressful situations and I love love love to respond to these emails and phone calls, and provide FREE stress relief.

 

So, if you have a question about your situation, I would gladly help you for FREE.

 

Disclaimer:  I also work for a fee, when people elect to continue working with me ;)

 

In addition, whenever I see stress in someone's life, I convert it into a post knowing that it will help someone, FOR FREE!!!

 

The most important thing to me, my passion, and what permeates my entire being (including my soul) is helping people discover happiness. 

 

To help people change their entire being from despair to excitement, about their life, is the most rewarding thing I know of. 

 

To help people go from crisis to confidence and conviction that life will be more than fine, is the most important thing for me to see while I am alive.

 

Why do I do it? 

 

Because I have seen some serious anger, anxiety, and depression.  Because I have seen people get so upset and act like life is about to end.  Because, I know, without a doubt, that anyone can live without anger, anxiety, depression, or unhappiness.

 

How do I know? 

 

I know because I see people, every day, turn their life around.  I know because I have experienced a lot of stress in my life, and stress is my greatest teacher.

 

When I was 10, I witnessed something very violent, and carried it with me for years in the way of emotional symptoms.

 

When I was 21, I gave birth to my son, and was a single parent.

 

Through my twenties and thirties, I raised my son (quite successfully if I do say so myself because he has permanent stress relief behavior, he is very fun, and he is happy) by myself.

 

In addition, I went to school for my bachelors and masters.

 

When I was in my twenties and thirties, I worked as an Emergency Medical Technician on an ambulance running 911 calls responding to very gruesome situations.

 

When I was in my thirties, and now my forties (I am forty six), I have been doing, and do, Critical Incident Stress Management, which is responding to meet with people who have experienced and/or witnessed something extraordinary like traumatic death, dying, and/or very very gruesome imagery.

 

If that doesn't say possible stress all over it, I don't know what does.

 

Stress is my greatest teacher and I want to help others find solace and peace so that they may enjoy their lives.

 

I WANT TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOF TOPS!!!  PERMANENT STRESS RELIEF IS POSSIBLE NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING!!!

 

I WANT TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOF TOPS!!!  DESTRESS YOURSELF SO THAT YOU CAN SEE WHAT LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR YOU!!!  HAPPINESS!!!  ENERGY!!!  VITALITY!!!

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

 

LOL!!!

 

Sorry, I love this shizzz, I get so carried away!

 

Anywho...

 

Here is another resource for you FOR FREE!!!

 

Go to this web site, watch the videos, FOR FREE, and learn to question your beliefs and just watch your life turn around.

 

Or you can buy my product, lol...

 

But please, please, please don't believe me, find out for yourself.

 

The woman in this website, Byron Katie, is the author of the next book in the BIBLIOTHERAPY SERIES.

 

Have a great day!

 

Don't forget to have fun and be playful.

 

Elizabeth

EMAIL RESPONSES TO, "HOW DO I DESTRESS MYSELF?"

Holey Moley Guacamole Avocado Sauce. 

I have received a ton of emails in response to the last post, "HOW DO I DESTRESS MYSELF?"

I have received emails regarding job loss, unable to get a job, loosing a home, loosing a loved one, having a hard time with the boss, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, anger towards a spouse, anger towards an ex-spouse, problems with a child, having a hard time with weight control, and...even...sexual frustration.

As I read these emails, I was going to answer them each individually but, the main theme was that these individuals disagreed with me.  They either disagreed with me on that they cannot control their thoughts, they do not have a choice in their thinking, they do not think their stress comes from their thoughts, or that they don't need to change their thoughts.

So, basically, I have been disagreed with on each one of the points I made last post.

What it all boils down to is this, if you do not or cannot believe or wrap your mind around the concept that you are the boss of you, that you are the only thinker of your thoughts, or that you have a choice to choose the way you think, then you will have to live in the state that you are living until you do.

I don't know what else to say.  The thing is, the reason I am not a therapist, or a counselor anymore is because I cannot help people who do not want to be helped, which is the majority of people who are in therapy. 

I am not knocking therapy, it has helped so many people.  What I am saying is, that I help people who want help.  I help people who are willing to open their mind and let new ideas in.

This is education, not therapy, and so if you want to learn more about stress, you can learn it here. 

Stress is NOT caused by your situation or the people you are upset with.  Stress is caused by your thought process about what is happening to you. 

Yes, stress is a part of life and I don't know anyone who lives stress free, not even me lol, but you can reduce any stress you have by changing habitual stressful reactions, which begins with your thought process.

It is not my intention to be unkind, I am trying to be a loving confronter.  If you know me now, you know that I have nothing but love for you or anyone I meet.  I love you!  I love people!  I have nothing but love in my heart.

Please, if you want help, it has to start with you.  With you choosing to open your mind to a new way of thinking.  Listen to your destress yourself specialist, and I say that with a wink and a smile.  I have helped and help thousands of people, all over the world, and I know I can help you.

Give yourself a chance, check out my audio on HOW TO DESTRESS YOURSELF, it will change your life.

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

ps  thanks for the emails, I LOVE IT!!!

DESTRESS YOURSELF 2011

Are you ready for permanent stress relief in 2011?

Do you have stress at work or at home?

Maybe you have anxiety or depression and you need a little help to relieve stress and relax.

Maybe you are burned out and need to regenerate.

Whatever it is that is stressing you out, it is time to make a new life of destressing yourself.

Do you create New Year's Resolutions?  I do, every year.  I believe in never ending goal setting.

If you are not moving forward, you are stagnant, and if you are stagnant things usually do not improve.

So...

If you haven't made any New Year's Resolutions, let's do that now.

Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you want.

Do you want to get healthier?

Do you want to create more energy?

Do you want a better relationship, job, or home?

Whatever it is, write it down because that is the first step to destressing yourself.

The first step is knowing what you want that will improve your life. 

Improvement will help you feel better about your life and better about yourself. 

So, make a list, NOW!!!

Do it now!!!

Just thinking about a better life will make you feel good, I promise you.

Until next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

MY OPINION ABOUT ANGER

This is my opinion about Destress and Anger Less...


There are a lot of angry people out there in the world and there are a lot of happy people who loose control of their emotions and burst out in anger.

I am of the thought of, we often have the right to be angry but, we do not have the right to go off.

When people get angry and go off, often times they are aware and feel apologetic after wards. But, there are those people who go off by yelling or being rude and they are totally unaware that it is not okay to go off on people.

IT IS NOT OKAY TO GO OFF ON PEOPLE! I don't care where you were raised or who you were raised by, it is inappropriate and unacceptable. If you have a boss or a spouse that goes off on you, I am telling you right now, it is not okay.

If you are a person who goes off on others, I am telling you right now, it is not okay. It is unacceptable and inappropriate.

If you are a person who goes off on others, get help! Get help, right now!

If you are an angry person, it may not be easy to learn to control your anger, at first, but it is totally possible. I have met many a people who were very angry, moody, and irritable that have overcome their anger. I know that it is possible.

If you are an angry person, guess what? People do not want to be around you. If people hang around you, it is not for long, and it won't be for long.

Learning to destress and anger less is up to you and it is totally possible. Don't just learn to manage your anger for others, do it for yourself. If you do it for yourself, you will develop a much richer life. You will develop happiness, energy, and vitality.

This is my opinion...

If you go off, it is not okay. If you are angry, it is not okay. If you are angry, you are hurting yourself by increasing your stress and decreasing the people that want to be around you.

If you are angry, seek help and seek it now.

Questions, comments, or if you need help email me elizabeth@destressyourself.com.

Until next time, don't forget to have fun and be playful, it is in your nature...

Elizabeth

DESTRESS AND ANGER LESS

Well, have you set a specific goal yet? Have you made a New Years Resolution?

The goal would be to manage anger, right? So then the next step is to choose a specific plan. Will you find an anger management expert? You could always go to the book store and get the most recent best seller anger management book. Another option would be to see a Therapist or your Doctor and get prescription medication that will mellow you out some. Some other options would be hypnotherapy or subliminal cd's. Maybe you can google "managing anger," in order to do more research.

Anger and irritability is a very stressful habit and in order to manage you must choose a plan. Things to consider, to add to your plan, would be goals to manage your stress, learn to relax, feel more gratitude, feel more love, or just release worry.

Some really good goals you may consider are to exercise more, eat right, get healthier, sleep better, improve your relationships, or get another job or career.

Any of these suggestions will help the process.

Maybe you would like a bigger goal. When I think of big goals I think of creating your dream life. When we create our dream life I like to say we are making our own miracles. The reason I call them miracles is because when we think about our dream life we always wish and think, “some day.” But if you dream and then evolve your thoughts, feelings, and actions, towards creating and then living your dream life it is a miracle.

The reason it is a miracle is because when we just dream, we don’t believe it is possible, and when it comes true, it is a miracle. A miracle because we didn’t believe it would ever happen and it is happening.

If you plan a bigger dream it will assist in keeping your mind towards happiness and joy. In other words, it will give you something else to focus on, make you feel better about yourself because you are moving forward in life, and it will occupy your time.

This is my hope for you. My hope is that you will dream, dream big, make it specific, and then I will help you evolve your thoughts, feelings, and actions so that you may create your miracle. Evolve your thoughts into believing that it is possible, evolve your feelings into faith in yourself, and then evolve your actions to move towards your miracle while increasing your speed out of enthusiasm.

I know the power you have within you. I know because I have seen it over and over, time and time again. I have seen extremely stressed out people manage their anger, become destressed, and create their own miracles.

Now, dream big, make it specific, and let us embark on a journey of making miracles. You can do it! Right now! Write it down and make it specific. This is going to be awesome!

Don't forget the free monthly teleclasses you can access when you sign up for our free newsletter.

Let us begin the process of Destress Yourself.

What does it mean to Destress Yourself? It means to discover stressful habits and turn them into successful practices. One thing we didn't learn in school, when we were growing up, is what stressful habits are and how to manage them.

What are stressful habits? They are habitual thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry. These habitual thoughts, that have been created as we get older, create feelings of doubt, fear, and worry. When we have habitual thoughts and feelings like this we tend to limit our actions in life. This causes stress.

For example, if you have the thought that you cannot control your anger because you have tried and nothing has worked, then you may feel hopeless and therefore, end your journey of trying to decrease your anger.

Another example is, if I tell you to dream about the life you would love to live and you have thoughts of doubt that you will not be able to obtain this life then you may feel discouraged and therefore, not take actions to set and obtain these goals.

Destressing Yourself is evolving your thoughts, feelings, and actions to create confidence, faith, and hope, which will decrease your stress and increase your happiness because you are moving forward in life.

So what is Your Miracle? It is a dream life you believe you will never obtain and then obtaining and living it.

You want a Miracle? Then dream big about a life that you would love to live. Don't worry about believing it yet because that is what we will do as we destress. We will create faith in ourselves and others by eliminating doubt.

Think of your Miracle, your dream life. Dream it and dream big. Write it down and get ready to move towards it.

Anger management is a funny phrase to me. I don't know why it just is. The phrase I would choose is, "anger elimination." Don't get me wrong, I believe that it is okay to get angry but it is not okay to go off on someone.

Therefore, if we use, "anger elimination," instead of anger management, we are removing the anger that we show externally rather than managing it.

What I am saying is, it is okay to get angry but, when we recognize it internally, in our thoughts, that is the best place to eliminate it. If that sounds silly to you, let me know, give me a comment.

The thing about it is, that is what I do, well, sometimes. I don't know why but total strangers, no matter what they do, don't get me angry. People I know, from work or social places, don't get me angry. But the one and only people that can get me angry are my loved ones.

Maybe, I expect more from them.

Writing this blog is an opportunity for me to look at my anger and it's elimination. Join me in eliminating our anger together.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Take responsibility for your thoughts about anger, recognizing that it is not okay to go off on anyone.

2. Change your mind by knowing and having faith that you can eliminate your anger.

3. Learn deep relaxation and/or meditation skills and techniques, so that you may decrease your anger at anytime and anywhere.

4. Seek professional help if you are violent or you are not getting better at anger elimination.

5. Speak to your Private Medical Physician to make sure everything is okay medically.

6. Know that you are the only thinker of your thoughts therefore, you can find total control of your thoughts which in turn creates your feelings.

7. Create your own thoughts (grateful, positive, and good ones), so that you create your feelings, and have fun and be playful. If you do not know how, then learn.

YOU GOT THE POWER!

If you have any questions or comments, please use the comment function on the blog, and I will comment in return:)

If you would like support in your journey of, "eliminating anger," then follow this blog and sign up for our free monthly teleclass through our free weekly newsletter.

Don't forget to have fun and be playful, it is in your nature.

Elizabeth

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger management is a funny phrase to me. I don't know why it just is. The phrase I would choose is, "anger elimination." Don't get me wrong, I believe that it is okay to get angry but it is not okay to go off on someone.

Therefore, if we use, "anger elimination," instead of anger management, we are removing the anger that we show externally rather than managing it.

What I am saying is, it is okay to get angry but, when we recognize it internally, in our thoughts, that is the best place to eliminate it. If that sounds silly to you, let me know, give me a comment.

The thing about it is, that is what I do, well, sometimes. I don't know why but total strangers, no matter what they do, don't get me angry. People I know, from work or social places, don't get me angry. But the one and only people that can get me angry are my loved ones.

Maybe, I expect more from them.

Writing this blog is an opportunity for me to look at my anger and it's elimination. Join me in eliminating our anger together.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Take responsibility for your thoughts about anger, recognizing that it is not okay to go off on anyone.

2. Change your mind by knowing and having faith that you can eliminate your anger.

3. Learn deep relaxation and/or meditation skills and techniques, so that you may decrease your anger at anytime and anywhere.

4. Seek professional help if you are violent or you are not getting better at anger elimination.

5. Speak to your Private Medical Physician to make sure everything is okay medically.

6. Know that you are the only thinker of your thoughts therefore, you can find total control of your thoughts which in turn creates your feelings.

7. Create your own thoughts (grateful, positive, and good ones), so that you create your feelings, and have fun and be playful. If you do not know how, then learn.

YOU GOT THE POWER!

If you have any questions or comments, please use the comment function on the blog, and I will comment in return:)

If you would like support in your journey of, "eliminating anger," then follow this blog and sign up for our free monthly teleclass through our free weekly newsletter.

Don't forget to have fun and be playful, it is in your nature.

Elizabeth

Your Miracle

Let us begin the process of Destress Yourself.

What does it mean to Destress Yourself? It means to discover stressful habits and turn them into successful practices. One thing we didn't learn in school, when we were growing up, is what stressful habits are and how to manage them.

What are stressful habits? They are habitual thoughts of doubt, fear, and worry. These habitual thoughts, that have been created as we get older, create feelings of doubt, fear, and worry. When we have habitual thoughts and feelings like this we tend to limit our actions in life. This causes stress.

For example, if you have the thought that you cannot control your anger because you have tried and nothing has worked, then you may feel hopeless and therefore, end your journey of trying to decrease your anger.

Another example is, if I tell you to dream about the life you would love to live and you have thoughts of doubt that you will not be able to obtain this life then you may feel discouraged and therefore, not take actions to set and obtain these goals.

Destressing Yourself is evolving your thoughts, feelings, and actions to create confidence, faith, and hope, which will decrease your stress and increase your happiness because you are moving forward in life.

So what is Your Miracle? It is a dream life you believe you will never obtain and then obtaining and living it.

You want a Miracle? Then dream big about a life that you would love to live. Don't worry about believing it yet because that is what we will do as we destress. We will create faith in ourselves and others by eliminating doubt.

Think of your Miracle, your dream life. Dream it and dream big. Write it down and get ready to move towards it.

Don't forget to have fun and be playful, it is in your nature.

Elizabeth

Setting a Specific Goal; The First Step

Well, have you set a specific goal yet? Have you made a New Years Resolution?

The goal would be to manage anger, right? So then the next step is to choose a specific plan. Will you find an anger management expert? You could always go to the book store and get the most recent best seller anger management book. Another option would be to see a Therapist or your Doctor and get prescription medication that will mellow you out some. Some other options would be hypnotherapy or subliminal cd's. Maybe you can google "managing anger," in order to do more research.

Anger and irritability is a very stressful habit and in order to manage you must choose a plan. Things to consider, to add to your plan, would be goals to manage your stress, learn to relax, feel more gratitude, feel more love, or just release worry.

Some really good goals you may consider are to exercise more, eat right, get healthier, sleep better, improve your relationships, or get another job or career.

Any of these suggestions will help the process.

Maybe you would like a bigger goal. When I think of big goals I think of creating your dream life. When we create our dream life I like to say we are making our own miracles. The reason I call them miracles is because when we think about our dream life we always wish and think, “some day.” But if you dream and then evolve your thoughts, feelings, and actions, towards creating and then living your dream life it is a miracle.

The reason it is a miracle is because when we just dream, we don’t believe it is possible, and when it comes true, it is a miracle. A miracle because we didn’t believe it would ever happen and it is happening.

If you plan a bigger dream it will assist in keeping your mind towards happiness and joy. In other words, it will give you something else to focus on, make you feel better about yourself because you are moving forward in life, and it will occupy your time.

This is my hope for you. My hope is that you will dream, dream big, make it specific, and then I will help you evolve your thoughts, feelings, and actions so that you may create your miracle. Evolve your thoughts into believing that it is possible, evolve your feelings into faith in yourself, and then evolve your actions to move towards your miracle while increasing your speed out of enthusiasm.

I know the power you have within you. I know because I have seen it over and over, time and time again. I have seen extremely stressed out people manage their anger, become destressed, and create their own miracles.

Now, dream big, make it specific, and let us embark on a journey of making miracles. You can do it! Right now! Write it down and make it specific. This is going to be awesome!

Don't forget the free monthly teleclasses you can access when you sign up for our free newsletter.

Don’t forget to have fun and be playful because it is in your nature.

Elizabeth