HOW TO DESTRESS YOUR KID

Hey there.  How's things?  It's been over two weeks since my last post and I miss you ;)  I was away from the puter because my Daddy had surgery and I was hangin' with him and Mommy ;)  They live about 100 miles from me. 

 

Any who, as I spend time with them my mind goes back to growing up and of course, I think about all the stress that was there, only because I am lil Miss Destress Yourself.  Their behavior is still the same but I receive it differently now, and so, NO STRESS.

 

When I initially went to college, my goal was to be a child Psychologist but that dream was killed by my crazy idea that when a kid is messed up, it's ALWAYS the parent's fault.  I still kind of believe it.

 

Why do I believe that if the kid is messed up, it's the parent's fault?  Well, as parents, we are suppose to be smarter than our kids but we do this stupid thing that is totally insane.  We try to change unwanted behavior with the same method when it doesn't work.  Please allow me to esplain...  When a kid is getting bad grades, we punish by grounding him or her, and then the grounding doesn't work, the child still get's bad grades over and over again.  And then we use the same method, grounding, over and over again.  Don't you think that is insane?

 

"Hey you are not doing what I think you should so I will take privileges from you."  What is wrong with this?  The result is that the child thinks, "I am not good enough, so I get things taken away."  And every time we do this, the child increases their belief that they are not good enough, hence the low self-confidence in our society.

 

Disagree?  Good, comment below ;)

 

For some crazy reason, parent's tend to focus on what kids don't do right, all the time.  "Hey, don't do that."  "Hey, you should do it this way."

 

I know a man who loves, loves, loves my son as his own (not my significant other, just a friend of my son) and he wishes that my son were his son and/or that his son was like my son.  The only thing I see here is that this man looks at all the things his son does wrong and what he doesn't do right.  That is what he is focusing on.

 

Does he have some deep seeded belief that he ought to focus on what's wrong with his son or what his son is not doing right (right, meaning what's right according to him)?  YES!  It is pretty common in our society.

 

If, this man, were to focus only on the things his son does right, and love him, the way he loves my son, he would have the son that he thinks he should have, like my son. 

 

I know, I know, I am rambling.  But the point is, your son, or daughter, does not have to be like someone else, WE, as parents need to just love them, no matter what, and focus on all the things they do right, all the time, everyday. 

 

ALL DAY LONG FOCUS ON WHAT YOUR KID DOES RIGHT!!! 

 

Try this, for one day, and do not see anything they do wrong.  Matter of fact, just ignore, and giggle inside over, all the things YOU THINK, they do wrong.  And then just see all the things they do right.  See everything they do as right.  Can you do it?  For just one day? 

 

If you can do it, everyday, you will destress your kid, and yourself.  Trust me, I know!!!  Better yet!  Don't trust me, and try it for yourself. 

 

If we do this as parents, everyday, our kids would be perfect!  The only imperfection they have is in our mind anyway. 

 

NEWS FLASH!!!  EVERYONE IS IMPERFECT!  Enjoy that imperfection and just know that it is all a part of life.  Life is imperfect until you see it as perfect.

 

That's all I got ;)

 

Have a magnificent week!

 

And don't forget to have fun!!!

 

Be playful!!!

 

Elizabeth  

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

HOW TO DESTRESS YOUR DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR

Hey there!!!

This weekend was incredible!  How did you do?  Did you enjoy it?  I really hope that you did, and I really hope, with all my heart, that you are enjoying your weekends, your weeks, and every moment that you are living.

It is beyond my belief, sometimes, the deepest darkest moments of despair that we go through as humans. 

In my earlier years, as an EMT, I witnessed Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Sons, Daughters, Friends, Lovers, Spouses, and Significant others screaming in desperation over traumatic deaths or destruction for their loved ones.

As I speak with people in crisis and help defuse despair, I see and hear Paramedics, Firefighters, Police Officers, Captains, Sergeants, Dispatchers, Military Personnel, and EMT's struggle with moving from catastrophe to calm.

When we are in crisis, or in a place that is critical, there is a story that we tell.  The story may be, "This is the worst thing that ever happened to me."  Or, "There is no way I can handle this."  Or we ask questions like, "Why me?"  Or, "How am I going to handle this?"

This is a very normal way of looking at the things we go through that are not so easy to handle.

There is another story though.  The nother story is this...

CLICK THE PIC; TAKE THE CLASS ;)

The nother story is bringing ourselves to look at the bigger picture and minimizing our current situation.

To some people this will sound very cruel because they are very good at defending their despair and the horrible thing that has happened to them.

The bigger picture is that we are here, on this earth, for a purpose.  We are all here for some grander purpose, and all though I don't really know exactly what it is I do know that we all must go through hard times.  We must go through desperation and despair so that we can learn from what we go through.

is some sort of school that we are in so that we can get better and better as we get older.  Better and better at our stress, better and better at overcoming our trials, and better and better at enjoying life.

Loosing a Father, Mother, Son, or Daughter is not new.  It has been happening for years and years, since the beginning of time.  Loosing our job or home is not new nor has it only happened to you because it happens to millions.  Some people don't even have homes.

The story here is, this is life.  Life is as easy as you think it is or as hard as you think it is.

You can think that you can handle it or you can think that you can't.

What story are you telling???

Are you defending your despair?  Are you wallowing in your misery and just wondering why life is so cruel to you? 

Or

Are you creating faith in yourself, encouraging yourself, and looking for a better way?  Are you telling the story that this is some phase in your life that you are going through, or have to go through, and that you will be fine because you have been through more difficult things than this?

What story are you telling yourself? 

Please forgive me if I seem insensitive, that is not my intention, my goal is to provoke you to tell a better story.  If, and when, we tell ourselves a better story, we can move from depression to happiness, from anxiety to calm, from worry to confidence, or from despair to peacefulness.

How do we tell ourselves a better story?

Write down what you want.  Get a little card, maybe a 3X5 card, and just list the things you want. 

Do you want to feel love?  Then write, I AM LOVE.

Do you want to feel success?  Then write, I AM SUCCESS.

Do you want to feel happiness?  Then write, I AM HAPPINESS.

Do you want to feel calm?  The write, I AM CALM.

If you do this, you are creating reminders of what you want. 

This sounds so simple and maybe too easy but try it and I promise you can change your story immediately.

The goal is to find out what you want and move towards it!  And believe it or not, we have to know what we want first, then we have to remind ourselves to think it, and then we can begin our new story.

Please, begin to destress yourself by taking this first step at creating and telling the story that you want.

YOU GOT THE POWER!

That's all I got...

Check out my post, DEEPEST MOMENTS OF DESPAIR PART II ;)

Have the best week ever, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

BIG HUGS!!!

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

LEARNING TO DESTRESS!!!

Hey!  Hi!  Happy Monday!  I love Mondays!  Actually, I love every days!

 

I am so happy you are here.  You are here because you are learning to destress yourself, or just because you like me ;) 

 

So, did you notice if you are or when you are in a hurry?  Did you notice if it is a habit of yours?  Did you slow down?  Dang, I was totally in a hurry the next day after I wrote the post, CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN?  I was thinking to myself, if my blog readers could see me now they would definitely remind me of my own words.  I did catch myself and I did slow down, he he he.

 

Sooo, let's talk!

 

What in the heck does it mean to destress yourself?

 

Many of you have heard me explain this before, over and over again, and here we go again, lol.

 

When you destress yourself you evolve your mind, your thoughts, your behavior, your attitude, and your actions so that you live with confidence, faith, and security. 

 

Confidence in yourself, life, and others. 

 

Faith that all things are working for you and that your life is perfect as it is. 

 

Security knowing that anything you go through, no matter what, you can handle it.

 

If we listed the opposite of all these points it would look like this

 

Doubt in yourself, life, and others.

 

Fear that all things are working against you and that your life is the worst.

 

Worry that whatever you go through, no matter what, you cannot handle it.

 

All of this creates stress.  This thought process is what stress is. 

 

You have a choice really!  You can think thoughts of stress or you can destress yourself.

 

The thing is, this stressful way of thinking has been ingrained in you for however long you have been living.

 

Learn how to destress yourself by choosing the way of confidence, faith, and security.  You don't have to have doubt, fear, or worry.  They are just thoughts you know?

 

Learning to destress yourself is so important because it will create happiness, energy, and vitality for you.

 

Learning to destress yourself is so important because it will eliminate unhealthy emotional, mental, and physical conditions.

 

Try my audio, How To Destress Yourself, so that you can live with happiness, energy, and vitality. 

 

But PLEASE, don't believe me, find out for yourself.

 

Have a great weekend and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

 

Speak soon...

 

Elizabeth

 

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS STRESS???

Hello there my friend.  How are you this wonderful winter day?  I must say, I am very happy and grateful!!!

Last night, I attended a Christmas Program, which was MAGNIFIQUE!!!  Any who, I was talking to a lady who, you guessed it, is really stressed out.  She is currently going through her second wedding (for her second daughter) this year. 

Sooo, I told her that there was no such thing as stress, only stressful thoughts.  She didn't get it.  Do you get it?  Do you get that there is no such thing as stress, only stressful thoughts? 

When we feel stressed it is from our thoughts of thinking that we can't handle it.  Stress is from our thohttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=6613359141845270284ughts of worry.  What is this woman's stress?  She is overwhelmed by a busy schedule, as well as work, and her other children.  So, she is worried.  She is worried that she can't handle it, and that everything won't be perfect unless she get's everything done that she needs to get done.  Hence, her stressful thoughts.

Whenever I talk to someone who is stressed, I know that they are worried about something.  There is no reason to worry.  Worry is just a habit, a habitual way of thinking.  People worry about what they don't have, they worry about how to get what they want or don't have, they worry about what others' think, and/or they worry about if they can handle IT, whatever IT is.  IT can be finances, relationships, health, weight, an overwhelming schedule, a child that is not good enough, and/or work.

What are you worried about?  "Oh Elizabeth, I'm not worried about anything."  Oh reeeeeeally???  I know that I can have a conversation with you and within 5 minutes or so, you will say what you are worried about.  Are you worried about the future?  Are you worried about the past, or yesterday?  Are you worried about money?  Are you worried that you will never find Mr/Mrs Right?  Are you worried that your boss doesn't treat you well?  Are you worried about Christmas? 

Well, whatever it is you are worried about, this is what I want you to know. 

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU CAN HANDLE IT!
Everyone, including me, has had some serious shizzz happen and we made it through whatever rough time there was and you will make it through this. 

RELEASE YOUR WORRY!
This is a lot easier said than done but, stay in this moment, stay right here, right now, with whoever you are with, or where ever you are at, and enjoy yourself.  If you are unable to enjoy yourself, then you have a habit to learn.  Enjoying yourself is just a habit, a habitual way of thinking, just like worrying.  One of the best things anyone can do is replace the habit of worry with the habit of enjoying yourself. 

If you know me, you know it is possible!!!

Destress Yourself with an affirmation.  Whenever you feel overwhelmed, or stressed, say to yourself, "I can handle this, I can handle anything, and I can be, do, have anything I set my heart and mind to."

YOU GOT THE POWER!!!

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

I LOVE YOU!!!  I REALLY DO!!!

Elizabeth